


Say it's Forever

by x_thelittleprince_x



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bad Parenting, Crying, DONT LET THAT LAST TAG SCARE YOU ITS VERY SUBTLE I PROMISE, Difficult Decisions, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Guilt, Homophobia, Huang Ren Jun is Whipped, I'm sure their parents are lovely irl, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internal Conflict, Its not all sadness haha, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Panic Attacks, RenJun is bi and his parents don't know, Renjun and Jaemin are super cute together, Renjun is afraid to tell his parents how he feels about Jaemin, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Seriously both of their story parents suck, That being said there is some sweet moments in this story, The rest of the dreamies don't show up til later in the story but they're cute, Time Skips, True Love, You probably wont even notice it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25693924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_thelittleprince_x/pseuds/x_thelittleprince_x
Summary: Renjun is arranged to be married according to his parent's wishes but what happens when he's in love with someone else he can't be with.-“I love you,” Renjun whispered, just enough so the other could hear as they leaned in closer towards each other. He could feel Jaemin’s breath mixing with his own as they hesitated for a small moment. They hadn’t crossed this line yet and it was a little scary, not because of the heavy consequences that awaited them but because he had never wanted anyone more in his life and that was what scared him more than anything.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Say it's Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with another story. This one took a while to write and edit so I really hope you all like it. This was kinda inspired from Inception (Ateez new song) and Renjun’s Fools cover! Just a warning, there is a panic attack that occurs in the story, please be careful if that triggers you. Otherwise, please enjoy the story!

“I wish we could run away.” The hushed words fill the silence of the room. The small echo bouncing off the walls, making the syllables seem more real now that they were said aloud. Renjun could feel the static electricity between them, the hairs on his arms raising. They stood opposite to each other but the gravitational pull to close the small gap between them was unbearable. Unspoken words floating just in thoughts above their heads, unsaid. It was like they knew exactly what the other wanted to say without even having to say it. Renjun unconsciously stepped slightly forward, hating the distance. His hands itched to reach out and caress the soft skin of the other. The softness that graced his dreams each night with its ethereal beauty and left him wanting more when he awoke. Renjun watched as the other’s hands gripped the counter at his sides tightly, knuckles turning white. His gaze trailed slowly up the other’s torso appreciatively until it finally reached the hooded coffee brown set of eyes, flickering over Renjun’s own face, a fire burning in them that he’d seen many times before but yet still held something else he couldn’t place. Something new. 

“I-” 

“Renjun? Are you in there?” An airy voice cut off the words suddenly, a knock sounding on the other side bathroom door, breaking the spell. Renjun wanted to curse out to the heavens. He wanted..no needed to hear what the other would say. He craved it. 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec,” Renjun said, gritting his teeth as he did his best to bury the anger that brewed inside him at the unwanted voice.

“Have you seen Jaemin?” Soojin, Renjun’s fiance, asked from the other side of the door, seemingly frustrated as he listened to her sigh.

“No.” Renjun finalized, clenching his jaw as he stared deeply into the other’s wide eyes. After a small huff, the light footsteps faded from the door and Renjun knew she had left. 

“We can’t keep lying...she’s gonna find out,” Jaemin spoke, breaking eye contact, his head falling in what looked to be shame. Renjun let himself be drawn forward, closing the small gap between them, his hand finally doing what he wanted for the past few minutes, cupping the others smooth cheek, forcing Jaemin to meet his gaze again.

“What is she gonna find out? We haven’t done anything.” Renjun reminded him gently. Over the years, they had become close. A support system for each other but over time those innocent conversations turned suggestive and flirty, their eyes lingering far too long on each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Yet, they had never acted on their feelings, both too afraid to officially cross that line. 

Jaemin sighed, relaxing in Renjun’s grip. “I wish this didn’t have to be like this. I hate this feeling.” He admitted. “I love you so much but it hurts knowing we can’t be together.” Renjun understood what he meant. Over time he’d grown to love Jaemin, not needing physical affection to tell him that but his obligation to be with his fiance, Soojin out of his parents' wishes tore his heart apart on a daily basis. He was arranged to be married to Soojin, her family having been a friend and business partner to his father for so long. It was expected that they would have their children marry when they got older, merging the companies together so that their children would take over the company and so on. 

Of course, his family didn’t know that Renjun was bisexual and therefore liked men too. They would never understand his want to be with Jaemin nor would they ever allow him to be with a man. Soojin wasn’t even his friend, he’d known her since he was a young teenager but he never felt anything towards her other than indifference. Renjun could never feel a fraction of what he felt for Jaemin for her. The worst part was, Jaemin was Soojin’s brother. Their parents always felt Jaemin was lacking in every way possible, pushing him out of their world since he was young. It was almost expected when Jaemin would act out in his high school years, always getting into trouble and eventually, his family forced him to be sent away to the military early because his behavior was out of control and no one wanted to deal with him but no one saw how sweet or sensitive he was under that, how he never felt good enough because of his parents comparing him to Soojin or how hurt he was inside and just wanted his parents to love him. Renjun saw all of that and he was the only one who comforted him in the middle of the night when Jaemin would call him, crying and wondering what he did so wrong that his parents couldn’t love him. 

Renjun knew his parents of course never spared Jaemin so much as a glance instead, feeding into the antics of everyone else. They would never allow the two to be together mainly based on the fact that they were both men, insisting that Soojin, who they thought fit their high standards, should marry Renjun. He tried to tell his parents about his lack of romantic interest in Soojin but his parents wouldn’t hear it. Saying that they’d disown him instantly if he chose not to marry her as it would tarnish the company. That scared him. Being only twenty-one, he only had his family and the idea of being a disgrace to them filled him with a deep dread. He loved his parents, they weren’t very close but he respected them and naturally had an admiration towards wanting to make them proud. He couldn’t bear seeing the disgust on their faces or even worse, never seeing their faces at all which is surely what would happen if he decided to be with Jaemin. It sucked having to choose between his family and his lover. Renjun was far too much of a coward to actually make that decision and maybe he deserved the pain because of that. He should be able to choose, right? It was simple. The love of his life was right here, all he had to do was just pick him but there was a part of him that was terrified of coming out to them and losing his only family. A small part of him wondered, what if it didn’t work out in the end with Jaemin? He’d be completely alone for nothing and he was still so young. His heart weighed heavy in his chest, torn and shattered as his thoughts clouded his normally happy demeanor. 

-

The first time he and Jaemin kissed, it had been in the dead of night. For Rnejun, the quiet was deafening and his thoughts far too loud. Soojin laid next to him in the bed, her heavy even breaths irritating him, the large space between them very noticeable. Soojin knew Renjun didn’t have feelings for her that way and she tried her best to make it seem to their parents that they were getting along “so great!” to which Renjun just rolled his eyes, wishing he could throttle her. She, of course, didn’t know of Renjun’s intimate feelings for her brother. If she did, surely she’d bust a vein. 

Renjun stared at the text on his phone. The clear beckoning for him to come outside waiting for him in tiny letters. He quietly got up, thankful Soojin slept like the dead as he threw on a sweatshirt from the chair in the corner before sliding out the door. His heart was frantic in his chest, he hadn’t seen Jaemin in a couple of weeks due to the wedding planning. He hated every minute, wishing that he could’ve been excited about his wedding but he couldn’t not when he wasn't marrying the only person who would hold his heart. 

“I missed you,” Renjun said, rushing out the apartment building, the invisible thread connecting the pulling them in until he was tightly embracing the lanky boy who leaned against the side of his older ford mustang. He felt the others' arms find their way around him, holding him close and protectively. Renjun could feel the thundering heartbeat from Jaemin’s chest and he smiled to himself, understanding exactly how the other was feeling because his own heart did the same thing. Everything just felt right in Jaemin’s arms. Forming their own barrier from the outside world, letting him forget all his worries. 

“I missed you too.” Jaemin’s voice spoke from above him, taking a vulnerable edge that it only ever seemed to have when he spoke to Renjun specifically. He rested his cheek delicately on top of Renjun’s head. “So much.” 

“We shouldn’t do this here...someone might see,” Renjun warned, unable to stop his eyes from peeking around them for prying eyes, not wanting to pull away from the embrace, basking in the warmth the other provided from the chilly October air. 

“Yeah, of course. Come on.” They got into Jaemin’s car, going for a drive. Renjun didn’t know where they were going but anywhere away from his life sounded good right now. He let his eyes drift out the window at the passing buildings, lit from the moon, no sign of life coming from them aside from the occasional window that had a light on. He wondered what it would be like if this was another life and he and Jaemin were just any other people. He imagined them in the car, holding hands. No worries, heading home to their shared space. He longed for it so desperately even when the clench in his heart told him that would never be a possibility. 

“Hey.” Renjun suddenly became aware of his surroundings, noticing the car was parked already in an empty shopping parking lot, secluded in the corner where the trees laid. Realizing they were completely alone, his nerves came alive. It wasn’t that he was particularly nervous being around Jaemin but rather at the prospect of what they could do now that it was finally just the two of them. No distractions. “Look at me.” Renjun gave in to his body, slowly bringing his gaze to Jaemin who was already staring at him, intently. 

“Your hair’s longer,” Renjun said quietly, not knowing what else to say to break the silence. He had noticed the dark brown hair was almost at his neck now. Jaemin threw his head back slightly, letting out a carefree laugh, the corners of his lips curled up in content. God, that was his favorite sound. There was something so beautiful about the way Jaemin laughed, he never faked it but rather he put his whole body into it, his deep down eyes becoming little half moons and his smile wide and childlike. Renjun could never tire of hearing it.

“I guess it has.” Renjun fidgeted at the unresolved tension between them. They both knew what they wanted to do but it was a matter of who would take the first step. The sparkling mischief in Jaemin’s eyes told Renjun, he would have to be the one to make it. That was such a Jaemin thing to do, wanting to test people’s limits. Renjun swiped his pink tongue across his bottom lip, not missing the way Jaemin’s eyes followed the little action, attentively. Sparks set off in his stomach like little firecrackers. He was gonna have to do this he decided and took in a deep breath, slowly making his way across the middle console to slot himself in Jaemin’s lap. The other stayed quiet, watching him, his eyes holding an intensity that almost scared Renjun, never having felt so desired in his life. Jaemin grabbed onto Renjun’s hips roughly, the sudden heat making his pulse jump as he wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s neck, playing with the long hair at the nape. 

“I love you,” Renjun whispered, just enough so the other could hear as they leaned in closer towards each other. He could feel Jaemin’s breath mixing with his own as they hesitated for a small moment. They hadn’t crossed this line yet and it was a little scary, not because of the heavy consequences that awaited them but because he had never wanted anyone more in his life and that was what scared him more than anything. 

“I love you too,” Jaemin said quietly, bringing one of his hands up to frame the side of Renjun's face, bringing their faces just that little bit closer until their lips touched. It was like setting a flame to gasoline, starting small and then spreading, burning everything. Though the kiss started off softly, a sudden need for each other left them breathless, like they were starving and couldn’t get enough of each other, their hands reaching along every surface they could reach of one another. Jaemin’s hands finding themselves underneath Renjun’s hoodie, touching his bare skin. Renjun gasped into the kiss at the feeling, and Jaemin groaned deeply, taking the opportunity to explore the warmth of his mouth. All the tension from years of falling in love was poured out like a broken faucet into one kiss. Renjun whimpered as Jaemin’s grip became tighter on his hips, more greedy to have Renjun all to himself, pulling him impossibly closer. Renjun was becoming more pliant, his tongue swirling with Jaemin’s in a perfect tango never asking for more than what the other was willing to give him and it seemed to only spur Jaemin on even more, unable to stop himself from wanting to pull every noise he could from the smaller one. Their breathing came out ragged as their chests rubbed against each other through their clothes, their lower halves colliding and needy. They fit together like two puzzle pieces, Jaemin was the missing piece he never knew he needed but always knew he wanted. Renjun pulled back to breathe, moaning but Jaemin simply brought his lips down Renjun’s jaw hungrily, leaving open-mouthed kisses down until he reached the collar of the sweatshirt. Renjun felt so euphoric like his body was floating. He couldn’t believe Jaemin was real. 

They spend the rest of that night, getting to know each other's bodies and mouths. Wanting to know everything there was to know. Neither one of them wanted to think about how they would have to come back to reality as the sun started to rise. The pain was too much to think about, so they didn’t. Maybe if they didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t exist. 

\- 

It was a week before the wedding, and inevitably, that’s when everything came tumbling down. He and Soojin had been finalizing wedding plans, Renjun reluctantly just agreeing to whatever Soojin wanted at that point. He just wanted everything to be over with. They were checking the venue out to make sure everything was perfect when he noticed Jaemin had shown up. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of him easily able to notice the strain in his steps. The way his face was set emotionlessly. Renjun thought it was strange he was there, knowing the other hated even talking about the wedding until he saw Soojin and Jaemin's parents and realized they must have forced him to come along. He swore they knew something about the two because any chance they had, they tossed the wedding in Jaemin’s face just to seemingly make it hurt ten times worse. It pained Renjun, seeing the person he wanted a few feet away from him but being unable to touch him or stand by his side. Soojin over the last couple of weeks, seemed to be catching on to their too friendly glances at each other because she followed Renjun’s gaze and immediately tensed, grabbing Renjun’s hand forcibly as if to rub it in, that she could touch him and Jaemin couldn’t. Renjun hated it, trying to pull his hand away before Jaemin could see but Soojin wouldn’t let go, forcing her nails into his hand enough to make him yelp quietly in pain. What kind of crap was she pulling? Lately Soojin had been even less tolerable than normal to him and everything she did made him irritated. Renjun glared holes at the side of her head, trying to take a deep breath so he didn’t let his anger take over but it was wearing very thin. 

“Baby, I think this wedding will be perfect,” Soojin said, her voice shrill and smug at Jaemin who’s eyes were zeroed in on the couple's hands. 

“Let go.” Renjun hissed so no one else could hear. She narrowed her eyes at him but didn’t let go. Renjun took a peek at Jaemin only to see the most heartbreaking expression on the other’s face. He’d never seen such a distraught look, his lips pulled downwards into a frown and his normally sparkly brown eyes were dull like he lost any last semblance of hope he had. He watched as Jaemin slowly backed up, shaking his head, saying a small “What am I doing?” to himself before rushing out the venue. It felt like a knife was plunged into Renjun’s heart as the other walked away from him. Panicking, he immediately ripped his hand with all his strength from Soojin’s and ran after Jaemin ignoring the appalled looks on everyone’s faces. 

“Jaemin!” He called out, trying to catch up to the other as he made his way out the building. He saw Jaemin’s back get further away as he sped walked towards his car. Tears rushed to the surface of Renjuns eyes, as he pushed his legs faster to catch up, the fear of losing Jaemin causing his adrenaline to spike. “Jaemin, stop! Please!” He watched as Jaemin reached his car pausing while opening the door, fisting his hands, distraught. 

“Go back inside!” Jaemin yelled, running his hand through his hair angrily. “I’m done!” Renjun reached the hood of the car, tears clouding his vision making him blink furiously down his cheeks to see the other. 

“Jaemin, please.” His voice cracking at the end. Jaemin squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head violently as if he could chase the thoughts away.

“I  _ can’t  _ watch you marry her. I thought I could try and be happy this way but I love you too much and seeing you with her breaks my heart just a little more each day…” The bitterness and lack of warmth in his words made Renjun’s heart drop. His stomach flipping in anxiety. That was a tone he’d never heard from the other before who rarely even got angry but Renjun knew he must have been at his breaking point if that was the case. Knowing how much he’d been hurting the other made his entire chest ache but he didn't know what else to do. Either way, he would lose someone, whether it was his family or Jaemin. 

“T-tell me what I can do..I don’t wanna lose you. Please. Please” His repeated as his breathing came out ragged. He started to fall to his knees in distress, hyperventilating. Fisting at the dirt below him, he tried to ground himself on something. Everything sounded distant as two jean-clad knees came into his vision in front of him, hearing words but they barely registered in his brain. 

“Baby, baby, breathe. Please, come on. Look up here.” Renjun could hear words being spoken to him but he wasn’t sure if he could even move at this point. “Renjun, I don’t want to touch you without your permission. Can you tilt your head up to face me?” Renjun’s eyes were focusing in and out but he wanted to follow what Jaemin was saying, weakly trying to lift his head to face the other whose face was full of concern. “That’s it. Come on. Follow my breathing okay? Deep breath in.” Renjun tried to suck in deep breaths but it was like he was drowning and he couldn't grasp the air, little black dots filled his vision while the tears streamed harder down his cheeks. It felt like he was trying to breathe through a straw, his throat constricted and it was truly one of the most terrifying experiences he’d ever had. It really felt like he was going to die. Jaemin was trying to get him to follow his breaths, counting his breaths, telling him to focus on his voice while he breathed in and out. Renjun tried to focus and take in little breaths trying to steady them, matching as best as he could with Jaemin until he was able to feel the walls in his throat relax. It was probably minutes later before he was able to get any sort of resemblance to Jaemin’s even steady breathing and he was surprised he hadn’t passed out at that point, having been on the brink of it. 

Eventually was able to calm himself, thanking Jaemin internally for helping him. He didn’t want to imagine how bad that could have been if he was alone. Renjun hadn’t realized his hands were shaking the entire time until he saw them start to slow on the ground below him. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jaemin whispered over and over. 

“Please don’t leave me,” Renjun begged, finally able to grasp syllables from his mouth. 

“Baby, I'm so sorry but you know I can’t stay. You don’t know how much this kills me inside but we both knew this couldn’t go on any longer. I don't want you to choose between me and your family, I could never ask that of you so that’s what I’m doing for you. Be with Soojin, you’ll learn to love her one day. I’ll be okay eventually.” Jaemin quietly spoke. Renjun could hear how choked up Jaemin was, the way he held himself back, trying to stay strong for Renjun’s sake. He saw Jaemin glance over Renjuns head into the distance and gave a small look behind himself to see Soojin, her parents, and Renjun’s parents standing outside the venue watching them with a mixture of shock and horror. The secret was out officially. 

“I won't ever love her,” Renjun spoke, his conviction in his voice coming out clear and strong. “I will never love anyone the way I love you.” They stared deeply into each other's eyes for what seemed to be the last time, every emotion they ever felt for each other coming forward and being acknowledged. Love, adoration, trust, passion. It was all there. 

“As I will never love another like you. Until one day.” Jaemin said, helping Renjun up and over to the others without sparing them a glance, leaving one last kiss on Renjun’s cheek. And just like that, he was gone. 

-

**SIX YEARS LATER**

It was amazing how slow time seemed to pass when all you wanted was for it to speed up. And yet, no matter how much time had passed, he could never move on. It physically sent a sharp pain through his body at the mention of the other's name. No one had heard from him in years, it was like he completely cut himself out of their existence. But memories, those stayed forever and it was the only thing that fueled Renjun over all the years even when he felt so unhappy in life, he thought of giving up. It had been years and still, he could never feel anything towards Soojin. In fact, she and him never even talked unless it was necessary. They slept in separate rooms and Renjun knew for a fact that she was having an affair. He wondered to himself if it was worth it. If sacrificing his own happiness for his parents was worth it. Being only twenty one back then, there was nothing scarier than losing the only family one had but when he thinks back to his wedding day. How numb he felt, the tears forming but not falling. Seeing his parents smiling in the crowd knowing they had gotten their wishes granted. He wonders why it was that they were allowed to be selfish. He remembers that day when  _ he _ left, how his parents looked at him like he was disgusting, and told him he was only allowed to like women and that he was defected. They made him bury that day deep and never speak of it, forcing him into hiding who he really was and using his love for them against him and the worst part of all was that he let them manipulate him into all of that. Making him let go of the only person who held his heart. He used to feel anger, guilt, and sadness towards them. Now he felt nothing. There was nothing for him to lose anymore, they had made that clear for many years now. 

“I’m divorcing you,” Renjun spoke one morning, sipping on his coffee, the bitterness touching his tongue comfortingly. He didn’t know what was different that day but he’d woke up dreamless like usual and something told him there was a better life waiting for him elsewhere. Him staying here would mean he’d never be happy and the idea of the empty shell he’d become if this progressed any longer was a terrifying thought. 

“What? What about our parents? They have a deal going on with the comp-” 

“I don’t give a shit about the company. I could care less about my parents, your parents, or even you for that matter. No one has ever cared about what I feel or what I want.” Renjun was seething, slimming the cup down as the hot coffee sloshed out, hand tingling as it burned the outside of his hand slightly. Soojin’s mouth dropped in surprise, so used to Renjun taking the passive role in their relationship. But he was done. He knew she had no interest in him and Renjun well...he never had any interest in the first place. It was best for both of them in the long run. 

“Well if that's really how you feel…” She started to say when Renjun stood from the table. 

“That’s exactly how I feel. For once, I am choosing what I want. We are divorcing and I don’t care if no one wants to see me again because I already have nothing. I lost it all that day when  _ he  _ left.” 

It took for him to truly lose the one person he wanted...no needed, for him to realize that nothing else mattered if he didn’t have him. The only person who accepted and loved him for who he truly was. So he and Soojin got divorced a few months later. Both of their parents had been angry and disgusted by him, their disapprovement loud and clear. His own parents saying that they were disowning him but hearing those words didn't scare him like he thought it would. In fact, it made him happy. They couldn’t guilt him anymore. He was going to live for himself and no one else. He couldn’t put into words how sorry he felt towards... _ him  _ that it took so long for him to gain the nerve.

Living on his own without anyone’s help was strange but oddly freeing. He only had but a bit of money he’d saved over time from his job at the company. Seoul happened to be the furthest away from his parents so that's exactly where he went. Though there could never be enough hours between them, if he could have moved countries, he would have, instead, he moved to the city area but had to compromise on a run-down area that he could afford since the actual city was far above his budget. It sucked, the tiny apartment was run down, barely any hot water, the ceiling sometimes leaked when it rained and the neighborhood probably wasn’t the safest but Renjun wouldn’t have it any other way. He would rather live like this than be living in luxury with people who made him feel like he didn't exist for anything other than a pawn in their game. 

His very first night was the hardest, he laid on the hard ground with his blankets curled around him, staring up at the ceiling. He hadn’t let himself cry in years since that one day all those years ago, because it was the only thing he could control but for the first time in forever, the tears fell down the sides of his face and he couldn’t stop them, chest tightening. Sobs filled the empty apartment. Though he’d practically had no one all these years, it was his first time being completely alone. He couldn’t help but imagine what life could have been like if he still had  _ him _ . If he decided that day to go with him and not stay behind while the love of his life got in the car and drove off. He knew he was a coward back then. That he was too afraid to stand up to his family and tell them he wasn’t going to marry Soojin. He let them force him into a box of what they wanted him to be and he never should have let them do that. The saying love is blind works apparently for family too, he thought sadly. 

The money he had would only go so far and he knew he needed to get a new job before his money ran out. So that was how he found himself in front of a cafe in the city. It wasn’t in the heart of the city so it wasn’t bustling with activity but rather off to the side in a quiet area. The cafe called “a latte love” was especially beautiful. The building itself was a perfect fit on the street, but it had its own charm that stood out with the fresh red and orange roses that framed the outside of the entryway, climbing up the archway causing a really nice contrast to the soft brown paint. It reminded him of what a cozy cafe in France might look like. It had a friendly feel to it as Renjun stepped inside the shop, hearing the bell ding above him. The inside of the shop had a very warm atmosphere. Not too big but not small where it felt claustrophobic. The circular tables were spaced out enough that you could enjoy a conversation without worrying your neighbor would hear. The walls a simple creme color but the one thing that stood out to Renjun was the wall to the far right. You could write a cute message to someone and have it put up. The board was filled with messages, even some in languages he didn’t understand. 

“Hi, how can I help you today?” Renjun whipped his head over to see a pretty golden-skinned boy standing behind the counter wearing a light orange apron. 

“Uh, I saw this flyer…” Renjun quickly made his way over to the counter, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. The boy scanned the paper before grinning. 

“Yes! We are currently hiring. Have you ever worked at a cafe before?” He asked curiously. Renjun shook his head, a bit worried.

“No, I haven’t..is that an issue?” The boy laughed openly. 

“Not at all, just wondering. You have the perfect look for a coffee shop.” Renjun couldn’t help but flush at the compliment. Did he? He’d never heard that before. “Anyway, the boss isn't in today buttt I can take your information and pass it along! I’m sure he’d be happy to hire you. I’m Donghyuck by the way.” 

“I’m Renjun.” He introduced, unsure how to receive the boy in front of him. He seemed nice so far but he had a twinkle in his eye that made it seem like he was ready to tease at any moment. 

“Ooh, you’re not Korean, I presume?” Donghyuck asked, tilting his head.

“Ah, no. I’m Chinese but I’ve lived here for most of my life.” Donghyuck nodded and pursed his lips. 

“I think you’ll fit in here nicely.” He replied happily before making Renjun write down his information. Hopefully, Donghyuck was right because this place paid pretty good and he needed something to pay for his shitty apartment. He couldn’t go crawling back home at this point. 

-

Renjun was in fact surprised when he received an enthusiastic phone call the next morning from another employee named Mark who mentioned the boss wanted to meet him that day. Renjun was immensely grateful for the chance and quickly agreed, taking a quick lukewarm shower and getting dressed in the best clothes he had, which basically consisted of a pair of not ripped jeans and an oversized white sweater. 

The entire bus ride over to the cafe, Renjun’s leg bounced in nervousness, his eyes not able to stay on one thing too long as he fidgeted in his spot. He really hoped he could get the job. There weren't many high paying jobs that didn’t require more than a high school diploma. He never had the chance to go to university, being told by his parents that he would just work at the company with them so that's what he did. Dreams were simply dreamed in his old life, he wanted to be an artist but that was never an option because it wasn’t a “realistic” job to his parents.

Getting off the bus and taking a deep breath, he was overwhelmed with the scent of fresh flowers and ground coffee from the cafe. He clutched onto his paperwork and opened the door to the cafe, grateful to see it wasn’t super busy or Renjun might have felt even more nervous than he already did. 

“Hey, you’re back!” Renjun recognized the boy Donghyuck from the day before. A few customers glanced over at his direction at the loudness of the boy over their quiet conversations. Internally, he facepalmed, wanting to hide. “Guys, this is Renjun!” Renjun noticed a few more faces working behind the counter. One of them, a tall and strong cut looking boy gave a small wave before heading over to some tables with an order. “That’s Jeno.” Donghyuck introduced pointing towards the boy. “And this is Mark, Jisung, and Chenle. Chenle, is also from China as you can probably tell from the name.” He gestured towards different people who were variously preparing orders or taking them. They all gave a quick “hi” between working to be polite. Renjun was happy to see another face from China, it gave him a sense of familiarity. Chenle gave him the biggest greeting with a high pitched “Hi!” and a big smile. It was super endearing. Jisung looked like a baby, his face was seemingly much younger than the others and Renjun thought he was really adorable. Mark seemed to have a really cute face that made him seem innocent. 

“Follow me, boss seemed really adamant that we get you to come in today. He must really like your name or something” Donghyuck joked, beckoning Renjun to come with him past the counter towards the back room. Renjun was a bit confused but grateful for the opportunity nonetheless. They walked past the kitchen area, into another room where they stopped at a frosted glass door and Renjun decided to do a quick once over of the room they were standing in. It reminded him of a small lounge with some modern-looking chairs and tables, assuming this was where the employees put their stuff when he saw random bags and jackets strewn across various surfaces. Donghyuck knocked on the door casually until a voice called out to enter. 

“I’ve brought the newbie.” Renjun entered the dimly lit room. The boss was facing away from the door, only his broad back and striking blue hair being seen. Renjun assumed the boss must’ve been very laid back if he had such a hair color since that could often be seen as unprofessional in most other places. 

“Thanks, you can leave, hyuck. I got it from here.” Renjun could have sworn that voice sounded familiar, it was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t completely place it. It wasn’t very deep but not very high either with a slight roughness to it around the edges. 

“Have fun,” Donghyuck said, grinning before slipping out the door leaving Renjun standing in the room awkwardly with the boss. It was completely silent for a moment as he realized the other must have been writing something important down. 

“Um, I have my papers with me if you want to see them...I don’t know if you wanna interview me first or…” Renjun felt his heart speed as his nervousness was brought back to the forefront of his mind. The boss paused in his writing, letting out a small chuckle. Renjun bit his lip, unsure what to do when suddenly the rolling chair turned and he was staring into a very familiar set of eyes. 

His papers fell from his hand as his heart stopped in shock, eyes becoming wide and jaw slack. No way. There was no way, Na Jaemin was sitting in front of him right now. He looked the same but different if that made sense. His face was still sharp around the edges, the rest of it soft in that boyish way, yet it had unmistakably matured over time. The blue hair really suited him even if Renjun never pegged him the type to go for such a color. 

“H-how what…” Renjun tripped over his words, his mind racing a mile a minute. Jaemin smiled softly and stood from his seat, bending to pick up the papers and stuff them into the file folder at Renjuns feet before standing upright. He was close. Close enough that Renjun could feel the heat radiating from him. Jaemin had gotten a bit taller, but not by much, his chin reaching Renjun’s nose. Their curious eyes stayed locked on one another as Renjun tried to rack his brain for words. 

“I believe these are yours.” Jaemin mused, his tone sweet. His eyes fell downwards as Renjun, in awe, slowly reached for the file of papers from his hand, searching for something. “No ring?” The question lingered in the air masking the true question wanting to be asked: _ Are you still with her?  _

“I divorced her.” Those words seemed to take off whatever weight had been on Jaemin’s shoulders. He let out a small laugh, following up with another question. 

“Did you ever fall in love with her?” Renjun without hesitation shook his head. Was this real?

“Never.” It seemed to be exactly what Jaemin wanted to hear because the smile on his face became brighter. 

“Does that mean…” He trailed off, glancing back up.

“I never stopped loving you,” Renjun whispered, almost afraid he would shatter the moment and he’d wake up if he spoke any louder. And it was true. The love between them was still thriving even after all these years. The guilt suddenly rose in Renjun’s mind as he babbled out an apology. “I’m so sorry I let you go. I s-should’ve just left my family.”

“Shh, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. You never should have been put in that situation, I understand how hard it was. You know, sometimes we can’t help the people we love and that’s okay. We’re only human.” Jaemin said, covering Renjun's hand that was still frozen on the file between them. Jaemin was always so wise with his words, always knowing just what to say to make Renjun feel better and for the first time in six years, he felt like he had his home back. 

“Please don’t leave me again.” Renjun pleaded, the insecurity speaking volumes. Jaemin cupped the side of Renjun’s cheek, dragging his thumb across his cheekbone. 

“Never.” His tone was so sure and honest that it almost brought tears to Renjun’s eyes. 

“Say it’s forever...please.” 

“It’s forever, I promise.” And Jaemin would do his best to make good on that promise. 

-

**TWO YEARS LATER - EPILOGUE**

“Happy birthday!” Renjun jumped in surprise, accidentally slamming the front door as the bright lights came on and familiar faces popped out of hiding spots in the room. Once he realized there was no danger and that it was simply a surprise party, he let out a laugh, relaxing. 

“Aw guys, thank you.” He said, warmth blossoming through his chest, as Donghyuck hurried over to him with a candlelit cake in his hands. 

“Make a wish birthday boy!” Renjun didn’t really know if he needed to make a wish though. Everything he could ever want was right here in this room. Still, he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together.  _ I wish we could stay like this forever.  _ Everyone cheered as he blew the candles out. 

“Can I come near now?” Jaemin asked from a few feet away. Donghyuck eyed him before nodding. 

“He almost sat on your cake, I didn’t wanna take any chances.” He whispered making Renjun giggle wholeheartedly before bringing the cake to the table. 

“Happy birthday, baby.” Jaemin greeted, kissing him softly on the lips. Renjun wrapped his arms around Jaemins neck and deepened the kiss, taking Jaemin by surprise. He never got used to the feeling his body felt after kissing Jaemin. It was electrifying and made his heart beat faster every time. He couldn’t get enough. They pulled back after a minute, smiling at each other fondly. 

“I heard you almost killed my cake,” Renjun said breaking the romantic moment. Jaemin burst out laughing, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy and burying his face into his neck making Renjun squirm because of the way it tickled.

“You’re disgustingly cute but we got a party to throw,” Jeno called out, playfully. Renjun couldn’t believe how lucky he was right now. It didn’t take much time from when he and Jaemin met again, to fall naturally back into a comfortable dynamic but this time they were able to have the freedom they deserved from the start. There were no more hushed whispers, longing looks across the room or secret meetups. They didn’t have to hide for the most part, unfortunately, they couldn’t be too careless in public as Korea didn’t understand their type of relationship yet but Renjun was so appreciative of everyone at the cafe who accepted them quickly. Renjun had become close friends with the guys at the cafe so easily and it was like they’d all known each other their whole lives. He and Jaemin moved in together quite quickly when Jaemin learned where Renjun had been staying, insisting it wasn’t safe but it worked out perfectly because waking up next to Jaemin every morning was a gift itself, as cheesy as that sounded. Jaemin even encouraged Renjun to pursue his artist dreams, so that’s exactly what he did. With Jaemin’s help, he was able to go to college and start his degree in graphic design and he loved it more than anything. Loved Jaemin more than anyone. He realized that he shouldn’t have been scared of losing his family all those years ago because he had his family right here with him. Renjun glanced around the room seeing his friends huddled around the cake as Jisung and Jeno teamed up to swipe some frosting onto Chenle’s cheeks who screeched so loud, he gave dolphins a run for their money. Donghyuck covered his ears, yelling out a “Yah!” while Mark gave a comforting pat to him, grinning.

“I think our services are needed.” Renjun giggled, holding Jaemin’s hand in his. 

“Lead the way.” Jaemin grinned, his eyes full of light as he stared down at him. Yeah, Renjun could get used to this. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a kudos and a comment, they are very much appreciated.


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